Arrogance

Ever wonder why arrogance seems to win? I do. I'm not sure why I'm thinking about this, but it's on my mind today. I really struggle when I see people who treat other people poorly, or in a mean way, and they seem to get away with it. They appear to do whatever they want to someone else, get away with it, and then carry on with life like nothing ever occurred. It's WRONG!!!

I'm not having a pity party. I'm not even referencing a particular situation. I was just thinking of some stuff in the past, and was feeling like, "Why do they get away with stuff like that???" I wonder, "When will God finally say, 'ENOUGH!' and take it to 'em?!"

I still need a lot of help. It's a good thing that God saved me, because I think of all kinds of INCREDIBLE ways to get even. All of the time, as I remember people that have messed with me, I think of things that I could do to get them back. Want to know the scary part? THEY ARE GOOD! (Actually the things I think of are bad things, but they're good because they're creative.) The other thing I think about is the fact that I could definately get away with them, because the people would never expect it was me. You know...put a little time and distance between you and the situation, and voila! Instant alibi!

My point is this: If I was God, the people who messed with Rich Jones would get it with both barrels! Arrogance would be eliminated by bolts of lightning! Look out, jerks-of-the-world, because Rich Jones is going to buy all of the anvils the ACME company has in the warehouse, and drop them on all of your heads! Wile E. Coyote's got nothing on me!

So, here I am today. Thinking about a situation I face currently, all because of something someone else caused in my life a few years ago. To this day, I struggle to deal with unforgiveness and I tire of feeling this way. What's so unfair is that I bet the other party could care less. It all seems so unfair when I really think about it. (Hey...maybe I have been having a pity party! I'm not really trying to, though.) I want so bad to close some of the chapters of my past and completely forgive and forget, but it's hard sometimes. I even know that some of the things I've faced are nothing compared to the kinds of loss and disappointment that others deal with.

Yet, I still find myself back here.

Witholding forgiveness.

Then, I read this scripture today:

Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT) Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

I was hoping there would be at least a little "vengeance" in there for me to hold onto, but no. Only mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, followed by forgiveness. If I want to please God, if I want to receive mercy and forgiveness myself, I have to be prepared to serve it up first to those who have wounded me. That can be a hard pill to swallow, sometimes. Most of the time, actually.

So, today, I choose to let go. Again.

I release my "right" to be angry, to hold a grudge, even to blame others for where I am right now. I choose instead, to forgive, because, after all, I need forgiveness, myself.

God, take my life; the mess that it so often is, and make it yours. Complete the work you've started in me, until I become the tool you can use to do your work. Help me to reject bitterness, and anger, and to move toward forgiveness once again.

Thanks for reading this, and allowing me a few moments to "rant."

Running the race, just like you.
- Rich